29 March 2012

Tummy for President, 2012

I saw an ad for Nike the other day about how a woman's butt is a wonderful thing, and that 10,000 lunges makes it even more round.



Well I don't need any help in the round butt department.
What I do need help in is the flat stomach department. I want a stomach that you can bounce something off of. Not a quarter - that involves way too much work. But maybe a tennis ball. I'd like to be able to bounce something off my stomach, and if that something already has some bounce to it, yahtzee!
So I figured, if the woman in the Nike ad needed to do 10,000 lunges to make her butt look like mine, maybe I needed to do 10,000 crunches to make my gut look like hers, and therefore excellent in a bathing suit.
Thus, the beginning of a campaign. Tummy 2012!
To do 10,000 crunches, I'll break it down and make it easier for myself: 100 crunches for 100 days.
Today is Day 1.
At 4:00 p.m.
And I just want to go home from work and put on my sweatpants.
And watch this week's episode of "Once Upon a Time" on Demand.
...
And yet, this campaign is going to be far more interesting than the Presidential one this year.